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Post by mikael on Jul 6, 2007 22:50:07 GMT -5
[glow=red,2,300]As I walk alone through the endless fields
I felt her sweet kiss upon my forehead
I look up into the heavens, with disbelief
And I felt her succulent lips touch mine
I embraced this kiss,
This dream come true
As I reached my arms out to the sky
To pull her down, have her next to my side
She taunts me, as she left me
She parted as quickly as she had came
This partial blessing
The Sweet Summer Rain
[/glow]
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Post by D'mitri on Jul 6, 2007 23:12:05 GMT -5
Maybe you're not so childlike after all. This appears to be rushed, but it still adequately expresses the central theme. It isn't bad, but its not too good either. Keep at it, and maybe one day you will earn my respect.
Dos Vadanyia
`D'Mitri
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Post by mikael on Jul 6, 2007 23:31:15 GMT -5
Earn your respect? Wow, sounds like a challenge. Yeah i know it was rushed, but i was hit by inspiration and i had to hurry before it left me. ill work on it some more some other time though. I'm kinda busy with other things right now so i dont really have time.
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Post by D'mitri on Jul 6, 2007 23:37:45 GMT -5
Ha ha. You Americans make me laugh. You are always to busy to do one thing, rushing to do the next, and you dint have time to finish what you are currently working on. You are always running yet always standing still. You have time, you just choose to use it for other things. I mean you no disrespect. And i do not fill my words with sarcasm either. Just think about the time you have and how you use it. And i am going to use my time to sleep.
Dos Vadanyia
~D'mitri
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Post by mikael on Jul 6, 2007 23:39:55 GMT -5
I couldnt agree with you more. Goodnight. And thank you for your critique on my poem.
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